I feel like I'm in dance class right now
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
