I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
