So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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