You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
