My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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