I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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