Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
