just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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