girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize