so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
