you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
