I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
