Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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