lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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