Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I just sharted jello shots
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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