You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
