Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
