you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
