I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
