life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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