You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
