On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize