STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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