my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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