I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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