you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
