you would pick up someone in the library
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
