you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize