from now on my penis is your penis
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
