dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
