yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
