god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize