Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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