her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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