I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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