I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
