The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
