I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
