fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
