Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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