she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
