Having a random hookup so left but love u
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
