just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
