I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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