Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
