Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
