Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
