you guys were way drunker than both of me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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