you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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