I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
