well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
