I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
