I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
