She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
