so that wasnt chicken after all
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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