You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
