Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
