they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
