I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize