I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize