just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
