what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
