The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
