I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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