we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
