drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
