Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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